cnu’s brain

2009's April Fools' day pranks

Here are some of the pranks that I pulled on a few of my friends. Most of these may be lame and many would have learnt all these tricks in your history classes, but I don't care. I had my share of fun, fights, threats and disappointment. This post is just to document it.

The first one is the usual one which I have been doing it for 3 years - my birthday in Orkut. I was hoping that no one would wish me this time, but who am I to judge them? I got about 21 scraps from my friends (count is lower this year) of which 3 were from people who knew about the prank and were trying to warn others.
The first scrap was from Anish who literally swore at me for trying to cheat others. Even after him warning others, there was another scrap wishing me. I deleted his scrap and soon people began wishing me on my birthday. There were two more people trying to warn others that it wasn't my birthday, but they were too busy scrapping to even read it.

The second one was on Arulmozhi - I called her up in the afternoon telling that I was in Tiruppur to see her. She said that she was in a hospital in Coimbatore attending to her grandmom and uncle. I said that I would come to coimbatore and meet her at the hospital. After about 1.5 hours, she called me and I said that I was in the reception and asked her the room number. Unfortunately, she told that she would come down and meet me - and she did come down and search for me. Now this is where it turned bad. She was super-ultra-duper furious with me for doing this and said that she would never attend my calls anymore. Two days have gone and she is living up to that promise.

Now I thought of a better prank which wouldn't have caused so much trouble and I wish I could revert it back. Don't know what methods of torture she would employ to kill me when she sees me next time.

After this, by evening I called up Arul's sister Vanathi in bangalore (talking with peter english) asking whether she knew anyone named "Srinivasan". She thought it was me and exclaimed "Kolandhai?".

My immediate thoughts were - She doesn't know my home number, which means she would have to call Arul to get it - which would make Arul come to chennai by the next bus and drag me out of my house and ram me up with a truck. All this thinking made me go running for my dear life and surrendering to her telling that it was me only.
Then she told "I heard from grandmom that you were in Tiruppur. Thats why I was a bit confused when you said that you were coming from chennai to bangalore.".

Then I explained the entire story and how Arul is looking to hire henchmen in Chennai to kill me for all the things I did to her.

The third one was a failed attempt. I sent a message to two of my friends like "Hey, I am thinking of calling up X and telling how sorry I am for not talking all these days. Shall I do it?". Suganya didn't reply back as she was too busy to be disturbed with my request for advice. OTH, Pratheema replied back about 2 hours later asking

But Pratheema is becoming too clever for my pranks and she replied with "Is there any specific reason to be calling X today? What with today being fool's day and all".
Dammit. Very fast girl huh? Must try to do something better next time.

Anyway for all those who wished me for my birthday are supposed to buy me a gift. Till the next birthday, I will be thinking of better ways to fool people.

Loading mentions Retweet

Tiruppur trip - Day 3

On monday, I kept the alarm at 4 AM, didn't hear/felt anything (even with vibration) and ended up waking up at 4:30. We both got ready by 5:30 and called up the cab driver to ask where he was. Till he came, we were waiting outside and was talking to one of the MS guy from AU-KBC. Around 6 we started and reached the marriage hall by around 6:30 and again were invited by the elders (when will I learn these stuff?).

We got some place near the gate of the hall - which became advantageous for Sathya. He saw a woman in some blue saree and immediately started looking out for her very excitedly.

In the mean time, on the stage some Tamil Teacher (I think) was reciting some tamil poems instead of the usual Sanskrit mantras. There were the usual rituals which took most of the time and energy of everyone. Unlike yesterday, today the entire stage was full with their relatives.

One important person I forgot to mention was Arul's aunt. If it weren't for her, Karthik would probably have walked around the flame alone. She was the key person who helped (read as dragged) Arul Mozhi walk to every place. Arul insisted that the weight of the dress + jewels + long hair was the reason for discomfort. But we all knew that entire setup was for a normal woman and Arul couldn't get stuff for her size. The only piece of jewellery that she got for her size was the "oddiyanam" (waist chain) from the kid's section (I swear this is true).

After the marriage was over, we went to have out breakfast. Sathya went around all the tables looking for the woman in the blue saree. While coming back (confirming that she was eating), he told that she was married and all the efforts were in vain. However after eating, Vanathi came "asking for a help" - to get some Cadbury's Dairy Milk. Sathya immediately jumped in and asked for a return favour.

After giving the dairy milk, he asked Vanathi, who the woman in blue dress was. She cleverly escaped from him and went away without answering. But if you know about Sathya, you would probably have guessed what would have happened. He called Vanathi by phone and asked her again about the woman. At that time, she revealed the background of the woman. That her name was Swathi and that her husband was a "vettu aruval kaarar". Sathya immediately backed off and said that "Oh its ok. I was just telling that she was pretty. Nothing much".

By around 9:30, the groom, bride and her aunt (of course) went off in their new car (Hyundai Verna) and we thought that was over and started for the hotel. We called up Vanathi and told that we are leaving and learnt that she was in far away from the hall in Tiruppur (wonder what she was doing and how she went there so soon).

After sleeping till 12, we had our lunch and rushed out to the train station. Sathya didn't have a ticket and so got an unreserved ticket. In the station we found two other guys (MS in AU-KBC) and discovered that they were in the adjacent seat to me. Sathya got a confirmed ticket after asking the TTE and sat with us as the guy sitting before us got down in Erode instead of Chennai.

The return journey was pretty boring and when I called Arul sometime in the evening, I learnt Reena's parents had come for the marriage by around 10. I also learnt that they weren't going home. They were supposed to go out and return back - some kind of a custom.

We reached Chennai by around 10 and the two guys ran off as they have to be inside MIT hostel before 11. We both went to Saravana Bhavan (as usual ;-) and after dinner went towards the bus stand.

I immediately got a 15B (A/C vehicle) and since this was one of the trips I wanted to take for a long time, I hopped in. The others trips are a train trip to Chengelpet, riding a double level bus, riding the same bus from start-end-start, etc. I had done only the Chengelpet train trip - once partly with Arul and the other alone.

The bus was superb - no stops inbetween, some really old movie songs, a rear view camera for the driver, etc. It is cheaper than auto and more comfortable. I would recommend you to take it, if there was a bus in your route. But our chennaites tore the seat of even this bus. These are the things which makes us proud.

       

Click here to download:

Tiruppur_trip_-_Day_3.zip (1525 KB)

I got home from CMBT by around 11:30 PM and hit the bed after checking some mail and feeds. Overall it was a fun weekend and I really enjoyed the trip and the marriage.

Loading mentions Retweet

Tiruppur trip - Day 2

Day 2 started off with me waking up at 6AM only to set the alarm again for 7AM. Atlast I woke up and had to go and bring the small boy (Balu) from AUKBC to our room. While going to the station, I went in a bus. But returning back I tried to get an auto and the auto drivers in that town must be given some kind of award for cheating customers. They asked for Rs.50 for coming to the hotel. After we came to the room, got ready for our breakfast.

After that we went to the beauty parlor where Arul was getting her face fixed. From there, we went to the Avinashi Temple (which they (Vanathi and Arul) claim to be a copy of the Kasi lingam. I haven't been to Kasi, so I can't verify their claim. After seeing the place, we returned and was waiting for Sathya to come from Coimbatore.

After he came in, Arul sent us a cab to come to the wedding hall. We were supposed to start by 4:30, but ended up starting an hour late. However, by the time we reached the hall, it was 6 PM and people were already getting ready to start with the main event of the day (buffet).

We were invited by a group of elders outside and they invited with usual Vanakkam ("bring two hands together") style. For me I haven't done any such stuff, it was awkward doing it (it would be funny for those who watch the video later).

There were a few things which surprised us:

Apart from these, the bride and groom came out of their rooms very early (by around 6:45). In Chennai, it would be around 7:30 for them to come. Also there were no groups of people standing behind the two of them (an usual scene in Chennai receptions). Also there weren't any long queues waiting to give the gifts.

We both decided to go and give the gifts (not our gift, other's gift from office) to them. Immediately after giving it, we came from the other end and gave out gift. We were pretty bored and decided to play around for more. We decided to go up on stage again by around 8:30.

In the mean time, Sathya got a bright spark of an idea to give the couple Glucon-D to drink. After getting that, we went to the main road and decided to wrap two Eclairs choclates and give it as the third gift. We got that ready and also avery small chain for Sathya which didn't even fit his neck properly.

By 8:30 almost everyone were finished with everything (gifts and food). We finally gave it and Sathya started to talk about his comedy of "mixing quarter rum instead of Glucon D". He was doing it every 5 minutes and I (and I think many more) was pretty much pissed at it.

We also found that Sathya knows atleast 1.63 people on an average in any place - drop him off to some remote village in India, he is sure to meet some senior of his college or a friend of a friend. He knew some 2 or 3 friends of Karthik and was putting mokkai with them. Some kind of a network he has.

After having the dinner, we hung around the hall to watch what was happening and for some unknown reasons, Arul was mad and angry at Sathya for acting crazy (which is natural for him). If there were a day where Sathya didn't get scolded by Arul, then it would be raining in Chennai.

We left for the day and since we had to wake up early (4 AM) in the morning we decided to hit the bed.

Update: About the gift, it seems some small girl picked our gift and wanted to open it herself. The attractive packaging kindled her curiosity and when she finished opening it, she was terribly disappointed. Last I heard, Arul was planning some slow and painful death for me and Sathya for this prank. She said the same thing when I presented her a T Shirt a year back. I wonder when Arul is going to slip some rat poison in the tea.

Loading mentions Retweet

Tiruppur trip - Day 1

Loading mentions Retweet

Need a girlfriend

Huh, I am in urgent need of a girl friend. Actually the story is that a close friend of mine is going to a long road trip to the North after her marriage and she said that I could accompany them if I am coming with a girl friend. I would love to go to the trip and if someone can help me with it, it would be really sweet.
The trip would mostly be in 6 months, but it doesn't hurt having a good start - so I am beginning to work on this from now on.  If someone is interested or know of someone who is interested, please comment here.

Loading mentions Retweet

Ahmedabad Trip - Day 5

Morning as usual I woke up early and slept again. When I woke up again by 7:50, I found that everyone had their boxes out and eating their breakfast. We weren't even remotely ready to get ours in Vijayawada. I woke up Sathya and we got some pretty good breakfast and juice at Vijayawada. We asked that big, fat guy to go sit somewhere else till we finish our food and atlast he moved his ass.

We had out breakfast and soon he was back into business and we were back to the upper berth. Soon the train began to slow down at every other signal and by the time it reached Nellore, it was an hour late. It reached Chennai by 5:30 pm and Sathya was speaking to someone (his aunt I guess) that the train's scheduled time is 9:10 and is an hour early - so they can expect him by 8:10. This made me thinking "Oh, I wonder how they believe these things? Its the most illogical thing I have heard today".

So we left and had a great tiffin at Saravana Bhavan and then got an Auto and reached my home to give Sathya his paycheck. There are many things missing here which the would be obvious to the people related and they would know how to get those details.

But this was THE most greatest trip that I had and which couldn't be quite easily forgotten. Though I didn't get to see many of Reena's friends as she had promised, the trip was worth it.

I wish Reena and Pinakin a great married life and now my fingers are getting numb and sore after typing in almost 4000 words. One interesting thing I have decided to do is to have a new hobby and only a select few know about this and the amount of influence it will have on the others.

So, I would stop here for now and will probably have to do this again sometime during March. Till then, only short posts and funny pics of cats.

Loading mentions Retweet

Ahmedabad Trip - Day 4

Today I woke up by 3:30 (Ok, it was around 4) and got some hot water from the sleepy attendant and we got ready by 5. Arul had told us to come to Reena's house to get the sweets before we leave and she left for the airport.

After getting the sweets and getting dropped in the middle where we could get an auto, we reached the station and got into the train. While waiting for the train to start we had our cuppa tea and then sat down.

In Vadodara a big Tamil group came in (I think Lakshman Shruthi team) and a guy who was supposed to sit with my also came in. The TTR asked whether he could trade places for a girl (named Divya, 17) so that their family can be together - but he wanted only a side berth. If only he went to that place, things would have been completely different.

So he sat in the seat and within minutes he lied down and began to sleep. He got up only to goto the loo and for almost 30 hours he was lying on the seat. I was totally exhausted sleeping in the upper berth and would have become mad if the train didn't reach soon enough.

We were pretty bored looking at what others were doing. One thing I noted was many families there carry a huge cardboard box (size of a normal cabinet box) and when it was time to eat, we discovered the hidden truth about it. It was full of food and then had a variety of things to eat and they even have things to mix up on the go. We Tamils couldn't match their preparedness and if we were to go on a week journey - would probably end up dead.

There was one girl in Sathya's bay who was a bit heavy and who had got a upper birth. She was having difficulty climbing the berth as it was close to the door. So Sathya (the usual hero) goes up to the girls (there were two of them and the other was like Kamalini Mukherjee) and tells the girl something in English. What he said was that it was dangerous to climb up as the door was in the way and people could open it without noticing the girl (its difficult to not notice that big girl). So he suggested that she climbed the opposite berth and jump over to her's. I was thinking "Ok, he is ready to drill a huge hole in the floor". After he said and left the two girls were amused by the suggestion of Sathya that they were looking and laughing at him as if he were a jerk.

That day were were tired of the food from the pantry that we got some bread and omlette and had our dinner and slept. The day was pretty boring (as will be the next day) but I was occupied with my book (my iPod was totally drained).

Sathya was complaining that he needs something kill time and so I asked him to calculate the average speed between the stations from the LED display. And the next day I found that he did calculate the speed. Boy, he does need a life.

Update: I forgot to tell about the pair of jeans hanging on the window. Sathya wore the same jeans and it wasn't washed yet.

Loading mentions Retweet

Ahmedabad Trip - Day 3 Part 2

After the wedding was over, Sathya went off to see a friend from IIM and me, Arul and Bhavik were waiting in the lobby. He had told me that he would come around before 9pm to get his stuff for the airport as his flight will be from 9 - 12 (direct flight).

Arul was waiting for her fiance and we were seeing some pics. After a while Karthik came in and she went off to introduce him to Reena. I was sitting around with Bhavik and Jai (a little boy who was playing with my mobile) when I got a call from Arul and she asked me to come with them off to Gandhi Ashram. I didn't want to go and disturb them, but she asked "You are going to sit around with nothing to do. Its better you come with us". So we left in the car booked by Karthik.

We searched for some restaurant so that he can eat something. We got to a place and I had "Cold Coffee" which was literally sweetened, cold, coffee water. After that we went to the Gandhi Ashram and were seeing all the writings and pictures. Soon I got a call for Sathya asking whether I had cancelled the train tickets and that he had cancelled the flight plans and would be coming back in the train. He also asked me where I was and said that he would soon come there.

We went around the place and then came down to sit by the grass when Sathya came in. After about 15 mins, I called Sathya to come over to the Sabarmati river bank and we both went off. After sometime, Sathya told that he wanted to get some Khadhi kurtas and we went back into the ashram. After sometime, everyone were asked to leave as they were about to close the place and so we both decided to go and get the kurta he wanted.

After walking down the road and asking a few people we found out that all shops were closed as it was a Sunday. We then got an auto back to the room and the auto driver stopped the vehicle in the middle for some unknown reason. Luckily he stopped in from of the Gulmohar Park and we already wanted to go there. So we went there and the first shop that caught my eyes were the iStore.
We went in and saw the new MacBook and played around with it. It was so slim and sexy that if left for a few more hours I would have run out with it. We then got a Phillips earphones for my iPod and went to every floor. We had some Samosas, Katchoris and shake. We were pretty full from the lunch and this is all we could have.

Then we found a video game place and Sathya wanted to go and play around there and got some cards and we played on for 1 hour. We finally finished with a game of basket ball. In the middle we got a call from Arul asking us where we were and whether we will be coming for dinner? We said "No way. we are busy for an hour". It was damn addicting and when someone keeps losing to you, it just adds up to the pleasure.

Later we got home and after talking to Reena's parents for a few minutes, we told them that we would need to start the next day early as the train was at 6:30. I also made sure that I get hot water at 4 in the morning.

Loading mentions Retweet

Ahmedabad Trip - Day 3 Part 1

I kept the alarm at 5 and I woke up by 5 on hearing the alarm. But since I am famous for switching it off and sleeping back again, I got a call from Arul by  5:45 and I lied to her that I was awake only. I had to wrap the gift and it took me solid 30 mins to do a small box.  Then I got ready and was searching for the attender of the guest house to get some hot water. As luck would have it, I had to bathe in the ice cold water and then reached the wedding hotel by 8:30 with the gifts, hunger and a bad headache.

I went there and was waiting for Sathya to come and was constantly being asked by everyone "Where is your friend?" and I had to tell "Oh he is sleeping. Will be coming" or "He is on his way". After calling him numerous times, he said "The water supply is stopped and I am waiting for the water in the bathroom". After 45 mins, "Oh, just now got the water. Will bathe and start immediately".

One thing I learnt while I was sitting there was that some girl in a green saree (I doubt whether it was a saree, looked like a cross between a chudidhar+Dhuppatta+saree) had changed the dress 3 times. I also notice that everyone keeps on changing the dress every now and then. I wonder how they do it and where?

Till Sathya came I had to sit around looking sheepishly at the small kids running around and listening to the talk of the guy-in-the-yellow-t-shirt.

There are two such conversations:
The groom's friends have come in from Singapore and this yellow-t-shirt-guy was telling, "You see those chinese people. They are the husband's friends. When pinakin came, they too came and my father asked me to go and see whether the rickshaw guy cheats the foreigner. You see in India, we always cheat foreigners."

I keep nodding my head for everything he says with occasional "hm" or "Yeah". Then he continues "You see the meter said 94rs but the rickshaw wala was asking for 100rs. He was trying to cheat 6rs from the foreigners. They too didn't have 94rs and were about to give 100rs."

I was thinking "6rs? Oh My God. You better never come down south. You wouldn't survive an hour. And no sane person would have exact 94 rs. We always give Rs.100 and get back change".

He goes on saying "So I gave my money 94rs to the rickshaw guy. Now I was thinking whether I should get the 94 rs back from them or not". I was about to say "Buddy, if they had 94 rs they would have given it. They didnt have the frigging money and you had it. You are a loser and so be happy about it", but ended up saying "No, they are guests. You shouldnt ask them for the money".

Sathya came in atlast and everyone were getting ready to welcome the groom in the car. There were dance and lots of enjoyment in front of the hotel.

The other incident with the yellow-t-shirt-guy was - we both were sitting and suddenly he comes up and asks Sathya "Arul Mozhi is not looking". Sathya was shocked to hear that. We asked him "What?" and he said "No, I looking that Arul Mozhi is not looking anywhere."  For a moment both of us didn't know whether to laugh first or to tell him to go off. What he meant is left to the imagination of the reader.

Later the bride and the groom came in and there were the usual formalities to be done. First they were asked to sit facing each other and then they sat next to each other. But whatever they did, they didn't do it facing the 300 odd audience. They turned the other way around and everyone had to stand balancing on each other's toes to take the pics. And Sathya was taking the pics - but he missed most of the groom. Arul took the pic of the back of the pundit and Sathya took the pic of the back of the green saree girl.

Then there was some frying pan in the middle of the platform and the pundit suddenly light it. But on the wrong side. He light it inside the pan and this was the fire they had to circle around. The bride and the groom circled it and there was some competition about who sat down first. There was also some game with they stealing the groom's shoes and asking for money. Oh god, they are so dumb. Instead of stealing the shoes, they should have taken the wallet and would have gotten the money easily.

The people there were really good and were so cool with us sitting there looking like a bunch of idiots looking at the actual wedding while everyone were eating their full at the buffet.

Anyway, after all this we had some really nice food and lots of Gulfis and fruit halwa. After that we went and gave the gifts and talked to both of them before they went off to a huge family lunch. The wedding was officially over and what happened after that comes up in the next part.

Loading mentions Retweet

Ahmedabad Trip - Day 2

Most of the day 2 was spent on the train. Woke up quite early (5:45) and decided to not break my practices and slept again. Woke up late and then spent the most of the time reading the Hitchhikers Ultimate guide to the Galaxy. There was some station in the afternoon where we got some Gulfis and it was my first time.

By evening, the ladies in the next bay asked us whether we would help them in offloading the luggage from the train and then they gave us some rotis. Man, Sathya atlast had some food after more than 30 hours. They were talking about how they are going for a temple and that they need to climb more than 3500 steps 108 times over a period of 2 months.

After we helped them getting the luggage out when we reached Ahmedabad, we went out to get an auto. Now Sathya was the doing all the talking - and talk he did, everything in broken hindi or broken english. Pretty soon he would have gotten a broken jaw to match with his vocabulary.

He got the driver to put on the meter, but after some time I noticed that there was no meter in the place where it was supposed to be. There was some kind of a weird meter near the the driver's seat.

The roads were pretty big and there were no traffic jams at all. We were also looking at the pretty girls - but most of them were covering their entire faces with cloth. And Sathya was getting nicely from Arul for constantly commenting and staring at the girls. I was expecting her to give him the broken face, but it was also without any incidents/accidents.

Anyway we reached the place and got down near the wrong flats. Then we called up Reena's number and then atlast reached the place. We got introduced to her aunts and uncles and cousins. We then got a room in the guest house and then when we went for dinner, it was 10pm. We got together with Bhavik (Reena's brother's friend) and went in search of some food.

There was one corner shop which had lots of chairs and lots of people sitting simply without anything to do. We  then got some pani puris and vada pav. But unfortunately vada pav wasn't available and so I had to have some other item which was some sweet/hot masala inside two pieces of pav. It was good and then we washed it down with some juice.

Sathya then wanted to do some shopping - to get some soap for washing his jeans (4 days). After that we went back to Reena's house and were told that we have to get up by 4. We both then agreed to come there by 7 and we went back to our rooms and slept.

We went back and Sathya wanted to book a air ticket to bangalore on Sunday night. So, he went to a browsing center and was sitting there for half an hour trying to book the ticket and I was outside talking to Pratheema about the things happening around here.

By 12, the shop closed and he came out telling that there was some flight from Ahmedabad to Bangalore. It takes 12 hours as it stops at Bombay. I asked him whether he saw whether tickets were available and he said "If I saw the availability I would very well have booked the tickets. I will book the tickets tomorrow only".

There are couple of things to notice in this day's events. One is the pretty obvious to the people who have read my other post. And the second one is the jeans which wasn't washed for 6 days. Well it was hanging on the window when I slept. But what happened to it is on the Day 4 post.

Loading mentions Retweet