Here are some of the things that I fear. I have tried to order them in the most to least.
- Death - After this, I don't have to be afraid about anything below this. But to think about this, I am sooo frightened. Especially if it is very painful and involves blood. I hope that science improves so within a few decades so that people can die without any pain and easily.
- Heights - People who had read my previous posts would have known about my fear of heights. Even though I am afraid of heights, I love to goto high places and watch down from there. It gives some kind of a thrill that nothing else could match. The rush I would feel in my head when I look from high buildings and flyovers. I love the flyover opposite to the airport while travelling in a fast bus taking the slow curve very close to the railing. I love to watch the tiny people below and think "What would happen if the bus breaks the wall and falls directly below?" Weird, but I do think like this.
- Blood - I hate to watch blood, especially if it is mine. I have hated watching removed organs being sent for biopsy. It gives me jitters to even think of it now. I have fainted when they were taking blood from me for a test. This incident has been haunting me for very long and I still haven't given a blood donation because of this. But surprisingly I don't have any problem seeing blood, gore and violence in movies or pictures. No idea why.
- Fire - I would be very careful near fire. If my mom is cooking something in the kitchen, I would maintain a safe distance from the stove when she is frying something. I am afraid the oil may jump out of the pan. I also was very afraid of match sticks. I learnt to light a match only after so many broken matches. This may also be one of the reasons why I don't light many crackers
- Next to fire is electricity. This may have come from my father. I am afraid of the live mains. If some device gave me a very mild shock due to faulty earthing, I would be cautious about it ever after. This happened to my old computer when I was trying to remove something without switching it off. I got a mild shock due to fault in earthing of wire. From then, even though everything is fixed and I even got a new computer - I would be very careful with it. Even with a laptop, I am always afraid while inserting the power cord. Also the battery when I am having it on my lap. Oh no, that reminds me - gotta move over to the table now.
- Water - I am afraid of drowning in water. I learnt swimming when I was about 12 and I dreaded every day I was near a trainer in the pool. They would push me down into the water and hold me - trying to get rid of my fear. Only that they failed in it miserably. But I learnt the art of trying to stay afloat after jumping into water. In fact I loved jumping into the 9 foot part of the pool and come up and bounce all day long in the water.
- Speaking to strangers - I am not very social and would hate having to speak to people I don't know, in some meeting/party. Only after learning something about them, I would talk to them.
- Talking to a girl - This is one of the reasons I would never get a girl friend. This is a result of the previous fear. I can never make a move. I am comfortable talking with many girls who are my friends, infact I have more girls as close friends than guys. But speaking to a totally new girl, it would make my tongue all dried up.
- Poisonous animals like snake, scorpions, etc. It is not like I am
afraid of them, but it is another form of the first fear. Death by
poisonous animals.
- Crowds - I hate going to crowded places. prefer places visited by fewer people than going in a group to some place which is already full with thousands of people. I have never gone to any cricket match or to the beach during the peak season.
- Public speaking - Though I can speak at length about most topics that I love, I hate to start talking about something which I don't know anything about. It is the fear of questions from the audience that drives this.
When I was a kid, I had these fears which I have tried to get rid off and was successful in some way.
- Darkness - I hated going out in the dark, I hated the distant light from a house in the night. I hated to go into a room. My mom had to switch on the light before I even enter it. I even slept with my lights on.
- Ghosts - I hated ghost stories, cemetry and such stuff. Even now I sometimes freak out. Oh no, how am I going to sleep now?
- Aliens and monsters - I had a tough time sleeping after watching movies like Critters, Anaconda, Independence Day, etc. I had a feeling that while I slept, the crites rolled up to my leg and would eat me alive. I used to sleep folding my legs inside the blanket - so that the crites would be confused to not find the legs.
- God - Just like many kids, I was also raised with things like God would punish me if I didn't do right things. After I began to think more, I was cured of this fear.
This is a comprehensive list of most of my fears. Even though I am afraid of so many things, I am never afraid of talking about it or discussing about it.
I would love to hear about your thoughts on these and also about things you fear the most. Please leave a comment about it.
PS: I had finished this post many weeks back. Perhaps was too afraid to post it.
